A big omnivore filling a bear-like niche across the northern hemisphere. Descended from very successful family of plantigrade, pig-like omnivores (part of a large, successful herbivore family including big, mastadon-like northern browsers), these are foragers who eat anything they can, and have developed an interesting mode of walking. While the rear legs sit flat-footed, the forelimbs sport large, hoof-like claws on articulate toes, specially developed for grasping plants, sloth-like, and digging for tubers and grubs. (forward feet digitigrade, rear plantigrade, to sum up).
The false-bear's weird stance is partially based on Homalodotherium, a miocene notoungulate from S America, but with the strange dentition of a meat-oriented peccary. Is he too bear-like, though, and not "weird alternate-world-like" enough?